Health.
It's a fickle thing.
I quit smoking on September 24, 2004.
I was smoking almost four packs of cigarettes a day. That is 80--EIGHTY--cigarettes a day. I was sick. Mentally, physically, emotionally, I was sick and I was using the cigarettes to search out a release for the pent up emotions. I figured it out. I knew that when I did, it would be a simple matter to quit. The need for me just wouldn't be there. Now, I am not a hypocrite about smoking. If you want to smoke, here's a lighter. It's not my choice to make. I would never ask someone to put a cigarette out, I would never ask someone to move. If I didn't like it, I would leave, it's that simple.
The other issue with smoking was the bronchitis. Every season, like clockwork, sometimes twice in the winter depending on if I had gotten a flu shot, I would just get the upper respiratory infection from hell, lose my voice, try hack up a lung that had turned to cement in my chest, every muscle in my body would ache from coughing for a week until my doctor would give me my expectorant, decongestant, and narcotic cough syrup. Pleasant mix. Lots of drugs. I didn't even need to beg anymore, he had "smoker" written in my chart, so he just did what worked and helped me cover the symptoms of death.
So, I went on the patch. I used it religiously for 10 days. Then I just kept forgetting to put one on. I'd crave a cigarette, think...crap, forgot the patch. Then I would go in to get one on, and on the way be bombarded with the fifty things that six children, three cats, and two other adults can bombard me with and oops, I would forget again. So, about 15 days after I stopped smoking. I stopped using the patch.
Okay. Good. Yay me.
I just recently stopped drinking soda as a primary source of liquid. I was drinking almost a 12 pack a day. Probably not really good for the insides. I was thinking, okay I am drinking most of my calories for the day. I am having dental issues (see "my weird/wired thoughts"). I am also having a lot of medical/neurological stuff going on and maybe this all plays into it. Okay, lots of water. I am drinking a ton of it now. Have to pee a lot, but so far, so good. Crave the soda less, want more water.
Okay. Good. Yay me.
So, then I start thinking. Wow. I am not getting as sick as I used to. I can use an over-the-counter medicine and my cold goes away in a couple of days or the medicine helps the slight symptoms to make me comfortable through the cold. But, I have this pain in my hands. It is like numbness--lack of sensation. You know when you burn your tongue and then you can't really taste anything for awhile? That is how it is in my fingers. I can feel my fingers for the most part. My strength isn't affected. The small nuances of touch are gone.
Okay, I've been through physical therapy, occupational therapy, an MRI, rheumotologist (didn't know what that one was! LOL), drug therapy, two PAINFUL EMG's, and a neurologist. The neurologist is insisting that it is carpal tunnel. Isn't everything that involves the hands these days? Carpal tunnel is to hands what ADHD is to ten year old boys. Just plain and simple, this doctor--specialist--just plain didn't listen to me.
Then my tooth starts freaking out on me. So, in the midst of this pain and quitting smoking, I have an excruciating toothache. What else, you ask? Well, let me tell you.
Since I have quit drinking soda, I have to go to the bathroom ALL OF THE TIME! LOL It's annoying when you already have compromised sleep habits.
Okay, on top of quitting smoking, dealing with the stresses of my crazy-mixed-up-life, quitting the caffeine monkey, and working from home....now my skin has just realized that I quit putting toxins into my system and it is rebelling. My skin is dry and scaly. It's painful and cracked and it runs from my fingertips all the way to my waist. Apparently the skin below my waist hasn't caught up to the "upper class" skin. So, I have been drenching myself in baby oil, lotions, gels, anything to keep moisture in my skin. You'd think with all of the water I have been drinking that it would be okay, but NOOOOOO! It's sayin', "Sorry lady. We don't speak that language. You put crap in us for years and now you just expect us to be softer than a baby's bottom, well you got another think comin'!"
So, the final reason for this rant? This epic? This opus?
When I was smoking and drinking caffeinated beverages the only health problem I had was once a season, and I had a panacea for that. Now that I am "healthy" things are falling apart! I can't sleep, my hands don't work, the dr's are stupid, my teeth are rotting in my head, I want to scratch my skin off...
And to top it all off, I still got the flu. Maybe the tar was holding things together.
Pass that stick...
