Pull up a comfy chair, you'll be here for a little while.
Let me tell you a little story about two little boys and how they got the nickname "The Devil Twins"
James and Shawn are the best of friends. They met when they were four and we all started living together. James was born on October 8th at 12:04AM. Shawn was born on December 8th at 11:59PM. Well, they were born two months apart on the same day to two different mothers so they must be "twins".
One day I was startled awake by my daughter, Caetie. She was hollering something about something, the only phrase that broke through my sleep-confused mind was, "There's water all over the hallway!"
I jumped out of bed and ran into the hallway. She was correct in her assessment. There was, in fact, water ALL over the hallway. There was about an inch of water draining through the hall. I got every towel I could find and waded my way to the source. The toilet was overflowing. Apparently it had been overflowing for quite awhile. There was a pull-up in the toilet. Let me rephrase that, a DIRTY pull-up in the toilet. What a great way to start a day. I pulled it out, disposed of it, plunged the toilet, washed up and waded my way into the kitchen.
Upon arrival in the kitchen, I was greeted by our largest mixing bowl. I believe it holds sixteen cups, it was filled with an entire gallon of milk. There were a few cute Cheerios still bobbing on top and three spoons sunk on the bottom. The empty gallon jug and empty cereal box standing guard next to the bowl.
Okay. Where are the boys?
I went into the dining room from the kitchen. There I found another cereal box casuality. This one was spilled across the table and trailed onto the bench and floor.
Where are the boys?
I went into their bedroom which was right next to the dining room. I cannot tell you how bad it smelled in their room. They had taken crayons and drawn stick figures on their wall. Giant stick figures. Peeing. Apparently, the image was enough to entice them to actually pee into a container from the top bunk bed.
I am contemplating death now. Mine. Who is going to clean this up? Unfortunately, that is part of the job description.
But, where are the BOYS?
I wandered aimlessly into the front room, the fumes made me lightheaded.
The four parents that lived in this house together had seven children under 9. We had a lot of toys and little stuff. Our solution was to combine those playthings into giant Rubbermaid containers. The eighteen gallon containers. There was one for Legos, one for Lincoln Logs, one for stuffed animals, one for kid meal toys, one for crayons, etc. We had about ten, maybe a few more of them in the front room. Every single bin, down to every single toy crumb was in the middle of the floor of the living room.
Now I was contemplating death and it wasn't mine, but where were the boys and come to think of it, where was Megan the 2 1/2 year old?
I walked out the front door.
Our garage opened in the front of our house. The garage door was open a little. I could tell that they had been in there. There were tools that children shouldn't have gotten into out on the lawn. Still no small children.
I walked around the back of the house. We had a little patio out back, in the center was a bush and the patio surrounded it. The hose was on and it was stuck into the bush. There was a puddle so deep that it has started to overflow the cement onto the patio. I turned the water off, still no small children. I heard giggling.
I walked around the final side of the house, which was the gangway between our house and our neighbors. It is there that I found signs of life. I found three pairs of pants. I found three shirts. I found three pairs of underwear. I found socks. I found shoes. I heard more giggling. It sounded like it was coming from out front.
As I came out from between the houses, I see naked children running past me. The three of them are running up and down the block, naked as jay-birds! They are giggling and laughing and having a grand time.
I snagged Megan up as she ran past me again and demanded that the boys get into the house RIGHT THIS INSTANT! They didn't dare argue with me when I used that voice.
Remember the old military ad that said, "We do more before 9AM than you do all day?" They have NOTHING on those boys.
When I walked back into the house it said 6:36AM. I felt like I had done more than the military that day and I still had to clean up the mess!
J and Shawn are still the best of friends. This October/December the "twins" will be celebrating their first "double-digit" birthday and Megan will be eight in January. We all still live together, though not in the same house.
There are still days like this, but they are getting fewer and farther between. I know that I moan and complain about them and I sometimes wish they were quieter or less messy or better behaved. I also know that my life would be empty without memories of the "Devil Twins" and all of their brothers and sisters and as much as I complain, I love them to bits.
The thing I keep thinking of is that there will be a day when nobody needs to wake me up to take care of a mess.
Two things will happen that day.
I will mourn what is gone.
Then I will take a nap, because I will be OLD and I will need one.
