Right away you should know that this is a quick, sad story...
Okay, to give you some background...Megan and the two little boys (J & Shawn) have been going to "Logos" on Wednesday's at our neighbor's church. It's an afterschool program that let's them play games and have dinner together and hang out, while "gently" teaching them the stories of the Bible--kind of like Veggie Tales without the tomato and cucumber.
Anyone who has spent any time with me knows that I don't go to church and I don't believe in the Roman Catholic teachings of religion or spirituality, I have my own belief system. It's both easy and complicated, but you can dance to it.
Seriously, it's easy because I believe that there is a higher power and his name is Bob. He is an older gentleman, very soft-spoken and wise. He's tall and has white hair. He wears old soft jeans and boat shoes (with no socks), soft worn flannel shirts, an old floppy fishing hat with lures in it, and he smells like Old Spice. (Okay, so he's grandpa, but omnipotent.) I'll tell you the "Incarnation of Bob" at another time...suffice it to say, the kids all know I believe in Bob.
You needed to know both of these things...Logos and Bob.
J and I are sitting at the doctor's office waiting and CNN was on the TV. This was on Friday, and the big news story was that the Pope was dying.
J wanted to know who the Pope was. Well, how do you explain the Pope? So, I said he was the "head of the Church". J, being nine, puttered around doing his thing. I wasn't even sure that he had heard me at that point.
CNN was doing some more stuff on the Pope and J says, "Jesus' real name is 'I AM'" and I said, "Really?" J replies, "Yeah, I learned about it from THE BIBLE, DUH!" (as if to say, "heathen")
Okay, so now I am amused and I start asking him questions about Logos and what else he has learned. He tells me some random bible facts and then goes back to being a bored nine year old boy in a waiting room. He asks if the Pope is Jesus' friend. I figured that was pretty close, so I said yes. He says, "Oh, then the Pope is God's friend." I thought, are you really nine today? While trying not to laugh, I said, "yep." Then J says, "So, he's Bob's friend, too, right?" How can I argue? "Yep!"
Then they show some footage of the Pope riding around in his "Popemobile" and J asks, "What is that?" I tell him, "That's the Popemobile, it's a glass car, isn't it cool? Wouldn't you like to drive around in a glass car?" He looks confused for a moment, and then says, "Why does the Pope need that? Can't he teleport?"
WHAT?
"Can't he teleport?" J asks again, seriously.
"No, " I say stunned.
"Oh," says J, "I thought he could teleport. The Budda can, and his best friend the Dahli Lama can too, so I just thought the Pope could. Budda and God are like cousins and their best friend is Bob. Are you sure the Pope can't teleport?"
I feel like the elevator went up too fast and you get that weird stomach/head "which way is up/down" feeling. It took me a minute to really understand that he was being TOTALLY SERIOUS!
It still makes me giggle. "Can't he teleport?" Totally serious. Deadpan.
I thought you would get a kick out of reality being funnier than fiction.
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